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"Perfect Nonsense"

The following is a script for Heinz Salad Cream. The idea for the campaign came from the insight that the words 'salad' and 'cream' to describe a sauce really makes little sense. 

It won the 2012 YCN Award.

The wonderful world of names is really quite absurd

for have you heard

that there is a word for insects, that is ladybird?

Have you ever because I have never

been greeted with a pine in my apple.

It really is quite dandy, and something quite outstanding

that a lion and a flower

should be crossed with one another.

Oh the words of one, are but never done, can you imagine

the delight that butter had

when introduced to the nut that then was squashed?

Oh by gosh!

It really is a mad world out there

for the day that lettuce met a cow; for only Jim knows how.

From their meeting grew a glorious concoction;

a substance most boggling.

With a zing and a zang and a yum and a pang;

a taste was born.

Enjoyed on crumpets and chips, aeroplanes and ships;

a flavour that travels the world.

Had by little boys and little girls,

brothers and sisters, misses and misters;

make of it it you will.

On riverbanks, mountains, deserts and dunes;

whether this side of earth or the other side of the moon.

Any place or time is perfectly fine

to embrace the taste that is so divine.

You know what we mean when we say Salad Cream.


Salad Cream. It makes perfect nonsense.

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